This is the home work following our lecture today.
- Please write a short paragraph containing max 150 words
- Use the topic of the one/s that you have experienced with such as the one/s in the ADFELPS Writing Tests Task 1.
- Use COMMENT button to reply to this thread.
- You can subsequently publish your writing onto this thread and use ANONYMOUS user.
- Do not forget to put your name and class on the left top side of your writing.
- Your work should be submitted NLT (No Later Than) Monday, 16 June 2008 at 10.00 hours.
- you can find my presentation here: http://www.scribd.com/doc/3335923/Writing-Paragraph
Looking forward to seeing your work.
Thank you.
RN
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28 comments:
Captain Tomy Arvianto
B2
TRADITIONAL FAMILY IN MY COUNTRY
Indonesia is a huge country. It consists of many different cultures and ethnics. Because it has, more than twenty thousand of islands and each region have different characteristics. However, the similarity of which is the family type. Traditional family in Indonesia consists of husband, wife, and children. It has already become the tradition of most of Indonesian people that the small family is the best way to continue the life in order to obtain prosperity and peace. For instance, nowadays, the living cost and education are very expensive. In conclude the Indonesian people choose the traditional family for continuing their life.
This is my comment to your assignment.
Hanry Buchori
First Liutenant/B2
THE ROLE OF INTELLIGENCE IN MY UNIT
I am posted in one of the Indonesian Army combat unit which is well-known as Infantry Battalion Unit 712 as an Intelligence Staff Officer who is responsible for running intelligence function correctly and maximally. The role of intelligence in my unit is very important and complex because a success military operation depends on how smart I read the actual situation. In this case, my Commanding Officer will determine his crucial decision according to certain significant information which is submitted by me as well as my official staffs. However, intelligence is oftenly ignored and considered by few military unit personnels as an useless function to the military task. I extremely refused this sort of view because I assume they never understand through its general and specific role indeed before. At first, it will be necessary for you to get across the intelligence definition correctly. Intelligence is best defined as an knowledge, personnel and action as well. In particular, it means a proceeded advanced information provided by the agents through an integral action which is able to be used by the users for carrying out some certain military actions. The process itself comprises collecting, exploring, analyzing as well as submitting the preceded data that probably very useful for the users. Therefore, the security and the secrecy of the information should be kept by all personnels who deal with it. A confidential information we had will be useless or even bring the military troops through their defeat while the enemies succeed grabbing it. For this reason, every intelligence officer establish a system to protect data and prevent harm which may be contributed by a careless action. As the conclusion, this brief explanation hopefully can change the general wrong perspective about the primary role of intelligence. I expect all military members will never under estimate its function anymore and attempt to rebuild their sense of intelligence in order to guard this country from every enemy’s destructive efforts.
Erwansyah
B2
FAMILY IN MY COUNTRY
My Family is Asian typical family which has very strong relation with the relatives. Every Asian Family consists of nuclear family, immediate family, and extended family which live quite close to each other.
Nuclear family is a part of people who have relation base on the blood. It consists of a father, a mother, and children. As the leader of the family, father is responsible for providing the life needs by earning some money. He grows his children up from baby to adult. He is not only in charge of supporting his family needs, but also a decision maker to lead the family becomes welfare family.
On the other hand, Parents concern to educate their children with good education. They consider that their children will be useful for their religion and country by having good knowledge. So that is why, they force their children to attend a college as long as they are able to pay for. Hopely their children’s destiny will be better than their destiny.
Besides nuclear family, there are relatives which include immediate and extended family. In Asian typical family, there are no differences between them, especially in my country. They usually do not separate their immediate and extended family because they still need each other to run their life; for instance, in Lebaran Day and Wedding Party. They help each other to conduct that moment. In Wedding party, they should attend to introduce all of family’s member to the candidate of the relative in-law. In Lebaran Day, they hold a family meeting in their parents’ house. If there were someone became a family member because of her or his marital status, she or he had to introduce her or himself to the family or to other relatives.
As a result, Family in my country is a tipycal family which does not have any differences between immediate and axtended family. They can not be separated from each other eventhough they do not live in a close place.
Bandung tourism City
Bandung is the capital city of West Java province. It is located at a relatively high altitude, about 800 meters above sea level, Bandung is surrounded by mountain range that gives the city a comfortably cool climate throughout the year. Culturally, Bandung is regarded as the heart of Sunda land. This is reflected in language, music and customs by the Sundanese. Bandung is also well known as the capital city of snack and the city of fashion you can taste the various kind of snack with low price while shopping in many factory outlets and boutiques around the city, besides that The people of Bandung, sundanesse, has an uncommon warm along courtesy, friendliness, politeness and a good sense of humour are typical. Moreover, the women of the Bandung region are known for their beauty. All of that are the reasons why Bandung is a very popular place among foreigners and it also a popular destination among the Indonesians, who tend to come to Bandung on weekends, in sort, Bandung is one of the most welcoming places to visit because we will feel at home when we are in Bandung,
Irawati siregar
2nd liutenant
B2
MY PRIMARY (ELEMENTARY) SCHOOL EDUCATION
I attended the primary school education in 1986 to 1992. My primary school is located at Pertangguhan, a suburban area of North Sumatera. It is quite closes to my home. All of my siblings were also finish primary school there. My parent had chosen it for us since it is the closest one from our home in order to make us easy to go to school as well as easy for my parent to take care of us. Besides, almost of my cousins were studied there thus we could study and play together. It is quite small school, covering only about two football fields. The class was consist of six class start from class 1 to class 6 which each classes had one teacher. There were ten teachers that including a teacher of religion who taught in all classes. My religion’s teacher was the best teacher I have ever met. Therefore, I considered her as my favorite teacher. During our primary school days we got basic subjects in arts, science, mathematics as well as religion. We were required to wear white collared shirts with red short pants for boys and red skirts for girls. It was a beautiful memory for me to remember it. I will never forget it since its render for me in my life now.
Mr. Teguh. S "B-2"
Sports In The Military
Since the end of 1990’s, The members of Indonesian Defence Forces have been involved in sport activities. There are a lot of achievements gained successfully by them. Some of military observers said that it was imperative that military members join sport competitions. While several others might believe that it is not vital that Indonesian Defence Forces be involved in sport since it will reduce their military professionalism. Both of those views above have the advantages and the disadvantages.
The people, who believe soldiers should be involved in sport competitions, have several considerations. Not only The soldiers will be able to devote their tallents and get new achievements for the service and them selves in sport fields but also They can get more recreations and more fitness. Futhermore, for the soldiers have good and well-trained tallent, they will own a large opportunities to earn more money. However, this view also has negative sides, for instance; Sport activities will cut down their time to train the military skills. And for the soldiers that are prepared to be athletes, they will fully focus to the sport. As a result, they will forget the obligations as a soldiers. More over, the worst thing is The athletes have a big possibility to get injured and malformation of their body while They are still required by the unit to continue the obligations as soldiers in their units.
For some people, who believe soldiers should not be involved in sport competitions, have different reasons. Basically, military has several specific sports conducted only by the soldiers such as cross country, speed mars as well as military swimming. Those sports are more than enough to maintain and improve the fitness and also the endurance of the soldiers. They will also have more time to escalate their military skills. Ultimately, they will be possible to know more, understand and accomplish their obligations as professional soldiers. Neither for more achievements nor for earning money but The sports is for fun only.
From the discussion above and bassed on a priority consideration, In my point of view, Sports are totally good for the members of Indonesian Defence Forces. Eventhough, obligations must be taken place at the first on the priority listing. All in all, to prevent the lossing of the military professionalism, In the military environment, sports are enough only for recreation as a supporting matter but not for the way to get military achievements.
Penda III/a Rachmad Nano Basuki
FAMILY IN INDONESIA
In Indonesia, there are two kinds of family base on social values. Their are traditional family as well as modern one. Actually, in general both of them consist of father, mother and children. Otherwise there are some difference such as social value and relationship.
Traditional family is family who still holds up traditional values. Although they just consist of common family member, they have good relation with their relatives such as grand pa, grand ma, uncle, as well as aunt etc. In addition, they have regularly schedule meeting each other just making relationship tightly.
On the contrary, modern family is family that each member doesn’t hold up traditional values as a guidance in their habitual activities. Western values has influence their think and mind as well. For them, relatives relationship is not quiet important. Good communication and keep in touch each other is enough.
As result, there are two kinds of family in Indonesia. The first is traditional family. Another is modern family. Both of them just have a little bit difference instead of their family members.
Flt Pamungkas
B2
Family
Recently, a young couple hopefully to have a small family which just consist of parents and two children. By having two children they hope they able to manage his family easily. As their dream to have a small family which happy and prosperous.
To embody that above is not easy as invert the hand. Generally, each of family members must realize their own responsibility. For example, father responsible for earning money. Mother responsible for educating their children. And the children responsible their job to their parents.
Finally, a family is a unity. One of them need other help. Sharing and working together might able to embody happy and prosperous family.
CSGT.Bambang Wardoyo
B2
Traditional family in my country
Family is a small group in country consists of a father, a mother and children called nuclear family. The father is a leader of family has a great responsible for providing members of family to have welfare needed such as healthy, education, food as well as house for living. Family which lives in eastern country still has strong relation with relatives, though they rarely meet each other. Besides that the young people have to respect to older people especially to their parents, do shake and kiss the hand every meet them. In addition, the young ages are not allowed calling with name and speaking loudly to the older people.
As the family lives in eastern culture, honorful, helpful and respectful are used to doing to the others. Each family has well-related to neighbours as well. This is the unique of living in my country. Each person is well-known,though they live in far distance. For instant there is a lost way child, because the child is well-known by nighbours, they certainly understand who the child is, and directly drop the child into his/her family. In contrast, people will get negative image, when they have bad-behaved, and it is different from people who are well-behaved will get respectfully from surrounding them as feedback what they have done.
Fajar
B2
THE FUNCTION OF FAMILY IN EDUCATION
In order to develop people of our country, there are many factors have been concerned such as university, school, society, family and etc. Family even it is the small unit but it plays a significant role in national development program. From this lowest part of society ,the next generation is formed and developed for facing the challenging future.
Basic education for children are provided in family, such as good manner, politeness, noble values from traditional rules and those are basically needed as character foundation of future generation. It is considered that parenting function in family take an important role in formatting the character building of children. By giving good education for them, the parents have made a good investment not only for their family, but also for the whole nation. Investment? of course ,only with good education we can create a high quality human resources in the future.
Dedem, Capt., B-1
Q. Aris, MSgt., B-1
Dear, 1st Lt. Hanry Buchori, honestly your writing is quite good.
Here are our comments :
1. Be aware with plural form of noun. Put “s” after unit (one of the Indonesian Army combat unit). It should be ‘Indonesian Army combat units).
2. Use correct article. Put “a” not “an” before ‘useless’ (an useless) as well as before ‘knowledge’ (as an knowledge). It should be ‘ a useless and a knowledge’.
3. Use correct right ‘verb agreement’. When the subject is singular , use ‘s’ or ‘es’ after verb (every intelligence officer establish a system). It should be ‘every intelligence officer establishes a system’.
4. Probably is an adverb, so don’t forget to put to be (is) for suppoting the adjective (that probably very useful). It should be’ that is probably very useful’.
5. It will be better if you conclude your main topic as a conclusion dealing with the role of intelligence in your unit, because ‘As the conclusion, this brief explanation hopefully can change the general wrong perspective about the primary role of intelligence. I expect all military members will never under estimate its function anymore and attempt to rebuild their sense of intelligence in order to guard this country from every enemy’s destructive efforts’ is a future reference, not a conclusion.
We hope our comments are correct.Thank you.
Asep and Yugi
Dear Teguh,
First of all, your idea is very interesting and well organized in pharagraph but beware of using capital letter
Here are some of our comments:
1 After comma using small letter. (……,The members…..)
2 Change to active”to involve” (…..be involved…..)
3 In the middle of sentence, use a small letter (…..The soldiers)
4 Themselves (…..them selves…..)
5 In the middle of sentence, use a small letter (…..but also They)
6 Not effective since there is a repeatation (…..get more recreations and more fitness…..)
7 Missing “ Who “ after soldier and dual meaning of good and well, just choose one of it (….soldiers have good and well-trained…)
8 Eliminate “and for”(…… And for the soldiers…..)
9 Should be focus on(…..focus to…..)
10 In the middle of sentence, use a small letter (…..is The athletes…..)
11 In the middle of sentence, use a small letter (…while They are…)
12 Without for and comma (…For some people, who believe…)
13 Missing subject “they” (…competitions, have…)
14 “the” is not proper and omit “also” (…the fitness and also the…)
15 Omit “ but “(…money but The sports…)
Edwin
B1
Here are my comments for Capt. Tomy's writing :
1. Where is your topic sentence? (However, the similarity of which is the family type) I think that is your topic sentence or theme of your paragraph. You cannot start your topic sentence with However. Your topic sentence should be The similarity of those differences is the type of family.
2. Because it has, you don’t have to put comma after has.
3. Because it has, more than twenty thousand of islands and each region have different characteristics. This is a dependent clause so you cannot put a full stop after this clause; it is meaningless. It consists of many different cultures and ethnics because it has more than twenty thousand of islands which have different characteristics. I think it is a better complex sentence.
4. In conclude, after in you cannot put a verb conclude but a gerund or noun conclusion and put comma after that word; for instance, In conclusion, …
5. most of Indonesian people that the small family is the best way. It is much better if you put an article a than the because it is indefinite family.
6. in order to obtain prosperity and peace. I think the word prosperity has obscured the word peace, so you don’t need to put word peace
Danny Girsang
First Liutenant, B1 Class
Comment : For Rachmat Nano Basuki. B2 Class IEC XX
Excuse me sir, I would like to give some suggestions for your writing. It’s nice to read it but there are some mistakes. Let’s talk about it one by one.
First of all, I know that you have an idea to explain about two kinds of family in Indonesia, Traditional and modern family, but I found that you didn’t know how to explain that. You didn’t explain what traditional family is or what modern family is, you compared about the member but not in detail, you told about one aspect in traditional family but you didn’t talk it when you described the modern one. I think you didn’t have enough information or argument to sharpen your main idea. First You have to decide what aspects that you want to talk about dealing with kinds of family. That’s all for the idea and then about the structure :
1. Don’t forget to add “s or es” when you pluralize the noun, i.e :… some difference…
It should be : …some differences…
2. Using some conjunctions are not correct, such as : otherwise, and instead of. It should use “ but” to replace otherwise, and I don’t know why you use instead of in your last sentence, I don’t catch your idea.
3. You missed to put article in front of some words, for example : ...is family.., there should be an article “a” ,…is a family…the same thing happened in ..good relation…it should be …a good relation…
4. …Has influence…should be …has influenced…
5. You can’t pluralize the adjective, …relatives relationship…should be …relative relationships…
6. …base on…should be…based on…
7. Beware in using …as well as..or …as well, you have made mistakes.
Thanks for your attention sir, I just only try, even I myself don’t know whether they are right or wrong.. good luck and God bless.
Andri Bayu Priyono
Captain navy ( E ) 14415/P
B-I
Sun, here are my comments :
Your writing skill is definitely good and has a lot of improvements. I’m proud of you.
But if you don’t mind, I have a few suggestions:
1. The title is not necessary to use Elementary, (ELEMENTARY). We as a reader has known that primary school is equal with Elementary school.
2. Using the preposition is better if you use from….until… (in 1986 to 1992).
3. Wrong letter. closer . (It is quite closes to my home).
4. What pattern tenses do you use in this sentence (All of my siblings were also finish primary school there.) ? Past tense or passive sentence ? If you use past tense pattern, you have to eliminate were and change finish with finished . This is a basic mistake sisun, okay. ( All of my siblings also finished their primary school there. And I don’t think that you would make a passive sentence : Be (is,am,are, was/were) + V3 .
5. Again and again, you make a basic mistake. Using (to be + V) in past tense pattern and omit “of”. (almost of my cousins were studied there ). The right is (almost my cousins studied there).
6. Missing article “a” . (It is quite small school ). It is a quite small school.
7. A basic mistake again, Ira ! and not the class but the school..(The class was consist of six class). So, the school consisted of six class.
8. It is better for you to give subject “ it” in these sentence (start from class 1 to class 6 which each classes had one teacher.) It started….
9. Missing a letter (my favorite teacher). My favourite…
10. Missing the object. Render what…sun ? (since its render for me in my life now.) You can write : since it rendered a sweet memory in my life.
Okay, Ira! If you have any complaint about these comments, you can see me face to face.
See you !
Rachmat.Firdaus
Immanuel
Class: B-1
Comment :
Dear Sgt Erwansyah, We would like to give suggestion for your writing.
First of all, your writing is very nice but you have too much ideas explained. It is also contain indefinite topic sentence for this paragraph.
There are some other corrections for your writing:
1. You missed to put an article in front of some words, for example: … Asian typical family… it should be: …an Asian typical family…
2. The sentence “base on the blood” should be “based on the blood lines”.
3. “He is not only in charge of supporting his family needs, but also a decision maker to lead the family becomes welfare family.” In this sentence you don’t need to put commas after needs because the conjunctions has already presented by “but also”.
4. “a tipycal” should be “a typical”. “axtended” should be “extended”.
We think that you did it not in purpose, so you should be more careful for your next writing.
Thanks you for your attention.
Major Jaka S
B1
Dear Pamungkas
I would like to give some suggestions for your writing, although my writing is not also good. I think your writing is nice. However, I find some mistakes in your work. Let’s see one by one.
1. Don’t forget put a verb in each sentence, and be careful to add “s” or “es” for singular subject.
a young couple hopefully to have a small family which just consist of parents.
2. Don’t forget put comma (By having two children, ….).
3. “they able to manage his family” should change to “ they are able to manage their family.
4. “family which happy and prosperous” changes to “ family which is happy and prosperous, because happy is an adjective so it needs to be.
5. Don’t forget to add to be, if the sentence has no verb or you should put a verb
Father (is/takes) responsible for earning money. Mother (is/takes) responsible for educating their children. And the children (are/take) responsible.
6. “One of them need other help” should change to “One of them needs each other”.
7. “might able to embody happy and prosperous” changes to “might be able to embody happiness and prosperity.”
Overall, your writing is quite good, but you have to practice more and more.
Good luck.
Dear Csgt Bambang,
Here we give you comments for what you have done in your writing:
1. We think that your writing is nice, but it still has a few mistakes.
2. You forgot to add a conjunction at 2nd sentence
“The father is a leader of family has ….” Should be added by “who” before “has”.
3. If you use “though” in the middle of sentence, you don’t need to put comma before that word.
4. At 4th sentence, after “besides that” should be followed by comma. Besides, article “the” in “ …the young people…” is not necessary used for indefinite word ( noun that is not mentioned before ).
5. It is more corrective if you write “ …kiss the hand every time they (refers to the young people) meet them (refers to the parents).”
6. You don’t need to split 4th sentence and 5th sentence because these are definitely one idea.
7. After verb “allow” should be followed by “to infinitive”.
8. “For instant” should be “For instance” and should be followed by comma.
9. At 9th and 10th sentences, the sentences are complicated. You should have written like these :
“For instance, there is a lost way child, and his neighbour who certainly understand the child directly drop the child into his/her family.”
“In contrast, a person who has bad-behaviour will get negative image from others, otherwise will get respectfully from surrounding as feedback of what he has done.”
Hopefully you will be fine receiving these comments
Commentators
Maj Roland Manalu and FLt Lt. Dzulkifli E. B-1 class
Edwin Apria Candra
Carles Lumban Gaol
Dodi
B.4
Comment :
Dear Lieutenant Irawaty Siregar, We have suggestion for your writing.
First of all, your writing is nice, but you have to separate between introduction, main body and conclusion by using paragraph. Secondly, there are some inappropriate words and sentences in your writing, for instance :
1. in 1986 to 1992 should be from…to…or from…until…
2. at Pertangguhan should be in Pertangguhan.
3. is quite closes should be quite close.
4. were also finish should be had also finished.
5. since it is the closest one should be because it is the nearest
6. in order to should be and.
7. The class was consist of six class start from class 1 to class 6 should be The classes were consist of first grade until sixth grade.
INTERNET
There are many facilities of communication has given to people. One of them is internet. This equipment provided a lot of information that we need. As we known Internet is using high technology such as Satellite, Infra Red, Wireless as well as Bluetooth. Besides information, we can access entertainments, download some games and have conversations with the others people in yahoo messenger as well. In one side, they will give pleasure for us but the other side has negative effect. Nowadays, no longer a secret that internet offer adult programs. Unfortunately, there are many students has accessed it. Therefore, the most important thing is the role of their parents.
mjr.nasser.b2
B2
I gede eka santika
Family in My Country
There are two kinds of typical families in my country. They are immediate family and extended family that both have some differences particularly amount of family members. Moreover, they live separately eventhough they are in the same city.
I have small immediate family which consist of I and my parents. We live in small home that is located at left side of Tukadaya River, northern part of Manistutu Village, West Bali. Actually I have two elder sisters but they have got married that the first lives in the Tabanan City as well as the second lives in east bali who got married two years ago.In addition, I love my funny dog, catty that has been joining with us together since five years ago.
I have big extended family that live in outside of my district. My grand parents have been staying in Tabanan City since four years ago, because they want to live with my first sister to keep their plantation. My first uncle has been living in Jakarta as the Indonesian Airforce since twenty years ago. He has three sons and one daughter. He often calls us up to ask our condition in my village. My second uncle lives in Gianyar District who has three daughters and two sons. He usually visits us during the last weekend with his family.
I enjoy living in my village because there are my parents who love me. I also love my sisters, my grand parents, my uncles, my cousines, my nephews as well as my dog that makes us happy and laughed. So, familiy is important for me to keep our relation not only immediate family but also extended family.
B2
I GEDE EKA SANTIKA
The Impacts of Television on Children
Television is an electrical device which has many kinds of programs. TV programs can greatly affect children. They are easily influenced by their favorite characters who star in the children’s TV programs. The incidents which occurred in few months ago in which a few primary school students were smacked by their friends showed how big the impacts of TV programs on children were. In this essay, I would like to discuss about advantages and disadvantages of children watching TV as well as how to minimize the disadvantages.
Firstly, TV programs have a lot of advantages that can be applied by children in their daily activities. Some can significantly increase their knowledge which support their performances in the schools. For example, educational programs particularly broadcast during the weekend are able to help the children with their study and home works. The children English programs make them know how they practise the lesson everyday. The other advantages, the documentary films have some important knowledge of real life which can directly enhance their inshigt into certain subjects such as geography, physics, and history. Moreover. They enjoy watching cartoons which have some funny stories, so that the children become happy and entertained.
Secondly, a few TV programs have some disadvantages which have bad impacts on children’s lives. Adult programs influence their attitudes in their daily activities. They will have Inappropriate behavior if the children cannot chose good programs properly because the programs possibly make their attitudes impolite. For instance, nowdays the electronic cinema partly shows some bad-mannered actions and vulgar performances in order to support the actor’s career which is not suitable to our eastern cuture. Therefore, it can surely change the children’s behavior. In addition, since they enjoy watching TV very much , they will disregard their schedule. They may even watch till midnight, so that they can not study in school seriously because they are tired.
All parents certainly take some decisions to minimize the advantages of watching TV in order to get good result for their children. The parents have to create a piece of rule at home to be followed by their children correctly. For example, strict schedules can help perscut children”s daily activities. If they disobey the rules, they may be given a punishment and little pocket money. The parents have to supervise them seriously to become good children who follow the rules not only in their homes but also in schools. They will get bad results in their final exam unless the parents control their studying time. Because of that, the parents should take the rapid actions to overcome the problems
Finally, television programs can influence some vital aspects of chidren not only advantages, but also disadvantages. The parents have a responsibility to supervise their children in order to control their activities everyday. Otherwise they will get bad impacts of television, so that the parents must make a decision earlier. However, the parents have to give them chances to watch tv everyday especially in their free time to increase their knowledge.
b-2 lizardo
POPULATION
Indonesia has biggest population among Asian countries.High population not only can make many problem but also dangerous for our lives.High population can make benefit to government such as devisa and high country defence.
High population can make messy in each aspect and dangerous our lives.Many kind of problem caused by high population are jobless and crime.Many people can loose job when high technology changing man’s position in work.Many people need money but they do not have any job so they conduct good job with violence.Many people in the country can make devisa for they country such as woman labour .For example Egypt needs a lot of labour so we can send our labour to Egypt.In the other hand we can take benefit about high population in Indonesia.For example we can be a strong country because we have many people to secure our area.
Finally, We must realize the disadvantages of high population are higher than the advantages.so we must control population growth or curtailing population increase.For example by using contraception devices in order to reduse the birth rate.
CAPT Fajar, Pak Nasser,
I think CAPT Fajar's work is a nice example of this paragraph writing task. He develops his idea fluently by providing supporting ideas. His language is well demonstrated. There is a minor error in Subject-Verb agreement take (takes) but it does not really a concern. Good one.
Cheers
Pak Nasser been trying to mend his ideas about Internet. It was a quite understandable piece of work. I recommend him to be more specific in terms of actuating his ideas. For example, he could write the description of Internet, what internet is, what for and so forth. To make the ideas fluent he has to really understand what internet is. Alternatively, Pak Nasser could also talk about the impact of internet which is less technical compared to the previous topic about internet. There are some erroneous in tenses such as provided (provides), connectives such as besides (beside).The best thing to do is doing more practice and ask his classmates to proofread before submission. I think CAPT Fajar should be able to assist in this case.
Thank you.
Cheers
Capt Ro'is and B2 students, I am really very happy with your e-learning activities using this blog! This is a big step forward to meet the objective in modernizing our methodology. So, to the students I just want to remind you, that you are now being observed not only by your teachers but also by your friends and other people as well! Anyway, nothing to worry, it will be better for you! Just do the best. Thanks.
Capt Rois, I bring here the copy of my 'reply' to your and Yuline's comments in my blog' as follows:
Thanks Rois and Yuline, I've inspected Rois' blog: writingkibipusbasa.blogspot.com/ as soon as I got the information! And I agree with the result of experts' research and their recommendation. In my opinion, the main job of teachers in the modern methodology of teaching is more on "how to motivate the students" rather than "to teach 'em in front of the class"! Once students happy to do self study, the learning process will run much faster, coz the students no longer depending on their teachers and class hours. And I believe that e-learning (which is: writingkibipusbasa.blogspot.com/ is included) is the answer! Bravo KIBI !
Goodluck Rois!
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Blog: Exploratory Essay Topics
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